Resources
If I’ve journaled about it - it should be here. If not, please do contact me.
Grief Retreat
Selah House Carefarm & Respite Center | Dr Joanne Cacciatore
Dr Jo Cacciatore has created this extraordinary space. A Space to grieve, to feel safe, to reach out, to work with Dr Jo, to be with others who have walked this terrible road, and still do. In short, a space for bearing the unbearable.
Help Groups
MISS Foundation
The MISS Foundation is an international 501(c)3, volunteer-based organization providing C.A.R.E.S. (counseling, advocacy, research, education and support) services to families experiencing the death of a child.
The Compassionate Friends
This is an International grief group specific to loss of children, grandchildren, siblings. We meet every month in person. There’s bound to be one near you.
GRASP (grief recovery after a substance passing)
For those who have lost any loved ones to substance use. They have physical meetings and a closed Facebook group - so you can share freely. Some days the FB page is just too painful and some days you get just the ‘nugget’ you need to carry on. But you always know you are far from alone.
The Addict’s Mom
Learn to Cope
For those with loved ones in active addiction or recovery. Set up by a Mum who walked my path - but her boy lives. A new type of support organization - you can talk about your qualifier, share and receive advice, support.
Oh how I would have loved this.
Facebook and Meetings in East Coast USA
PAL (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones)
Podcast
Terrible Thanks for Asking
https://www.ttfa.org
You know how every day someone asks "how are you?" And even if you’re totally dying inside, you just say "fine," so everyone can go about their day?
This show is the opposite of that.
In one episode Harris Wittel’s Mother and Sister speak about their loss of Harris and how they heard.
TEDx Talk Dead is Dead Euphemism and the power of words. By Rabbi Phyllis Sommer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUqr4P7P3gM
In her talk, Phyllis shares how her son Sam’s illness and death have caused her to rethink the way she speaks.
Stream, River, Sea. By Peter Souter
Radio play about two people who are on a parallel grief timetable. It’s full of the BS intolerance we all have. Funny, sweet and inspired my post Letter From The Dead.
iTunes: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/stream-river-sea-a-bbc-radio-4-dramatisation/id500928627
Audible: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0075E414U?tag=duckduckgo-osx-20&linkCode=osi&th=1&psc=1
Books
Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty. By Patrick Radden Keefe
The three generations of Sacklers who’s fortune was built on Valium and OxyContin. How they manipulated advertising, doctors, the FDA, the justice system, us, Luke. How they knowingly killed for profit. How corporate greed wins.
Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic. By Sam Quinones
The book that tells you how we got here. Parrallelling the pharmaceutical industry, drug cartels, law enforcement. Brilliant and oddly exciting to read.
The stats are insane, the corruption mind boggling.
Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors and the Drug Company that Addicted America, by Beth Macy.
From distressed small communities in central Appalachia to the wealthy suburbs, from disparate cities to once idyllic farm towns. Beth endeavors to ask a grieving Mother’s question, my question.. why did my child die?
The United States of Opioids: A Prescription for liberating a Nation in Pain. By Harry Nelson
He’s a medical Lawyer. Comes at it from a different angle. His first experience came from representing doctors who had fallen fowl to the epidemic. #notanotherstat
When Death Takes Something From You, Give it Back. By Naja Marie Aidt
Sent to me by a friend - This Danish poet gives an exquisite account of her son’s death by mushroom induced suicide, and her grief. She is me. Fabulous treatment of that moment.
Bearing the Unbearable. By Dr Joanne Cacciatore
After her daughter Cheyenne died, she was horrified by the standard of help out there. She got mad and then got herself a doctorate, set up scientific research programs and created the MISS Foundation & Selah House Carefarm.
When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should.
Cacciatore now trains therapists to understand traumatic loss. Her students come because they realize that what they were taught does not work and can, in fact, re-traumatize .
The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism. By Jason Tougaw
He writes about his childhood growing up in his bonkers family riddled with addiction and dysfunction and yet I still adored them all, so true in my walk with Luke.
Took my hashtag #rejectthestigma from Jason.
Bite Sized: A Mother’s Journey Alongside Anorexia. By Fiona Hamilton
Because her emotional walk alongside her suffering child was identical to mine.
Seeking Jordan. By Matthew McKay Phd
The murder of Matthew McKay’s son, Jordan, sent him on a journey in search of ways to communicate with his son despite fears and uncertainty. So grateful for this.
The Afterlife of Billy Fingers. By Annie Kagan
She’s not a medium or a psychic, she was awakened by her deceased brother, she thought perhaps she had gone a little crazy. Me too.
Many Lives Many Masters. By Brian L Weiss MD
The true case of the past-life therapy that changed the lives of both the prominent psychiatrist and young patient involved.
Films & Documentaries
Some of these are quite triggering but by now you know that I just walk straight at that, in search of information and a new way to see.
Dopesick
TV series based around Beth Macy’s book. Michael Keaton leads an extraordinary cast ..It is brilliant. It covers all angles.. families affected, pharma sales reps, doctors, the. Sacklers, the justice system and government.
The Crime of the Century
2 Part Documentary. It’s all you need to know about the corruption, the political operatives, the regulations and regulators that enable the opioid crisis. It is a must.
Warning: This Drug May Kill You
Pharmaceutical opioids will kill you too - so many heart wrenching accounts. Families tell their stories. I learnt a lot and it shifted my resolve.
Heroin(e)
Tracking the bad ass ladies working miracles in this opioid crisis in Ohio.
The Pharmacist
This documentary series shows Dan Schneider didn’t give up. He has that kind of grief that drives him to try and prevent this happening to anyone else. Shows how crap the system is in preventing the wrongs before our very eyes. He did not accept their reasons why not. I am quite in awe of him and a bit in love with him. We owe him much.
Boy Erased
From the memoir by Garrard Conley recounting his childhood in a fundamentalist Arkansas family that enrolled him in conversion therapy.
Reminded me of the rehab days with Luke.
Beautiful Boy
The film from the autobiographical books of David and Nic Sheff, Father and son on the ride of recovery and relapse. The books helped me so and the film had one particular scene that reminded me of the impossible seesaw ride Luke and I took. I felt seen.
Ben Is Back
The plot follows a mother who tries to help her addict son after he returns home from rehab and shows all the blurred lines that go with that. Sometimes there is no rule book in this fuzzy logic.
Léa & I
Best friends travel through Latin America and wonder about a life well-lived knowing one of them might have half the time to live it. Up lifting, brave and not afraid of love.
River
Miniseries. John River is a brilliant police inspector whose genius lies side-by-side with the fragility of his mind. No spoilers - so I just want that final scene with Luke.