Lucky 7?

Adding a new year to this blog marks another year has passed without my boy.
It’s a raw agony to admit that I have completed 7 years without Luke.

Sam, who generously sorts out this site and adds new tabs prefers to refer to each new year in Latin… ‘anno septum’ “because somehow it seems less brutal”. She’s wonderful.

You would think that I would be used to it by now.
But something is different this year, but not good-different.
Luke seems far away.

It is said that the body regenerates itself every 7 years.
Is that the problem?
If that is true… how much of me actually knew Luke?
This fills me with panic… as I fret, I research.

Turns out, it’s not that simple.
I read and read.

Jonas Frisén says the body regenerates itself every 7-15 years because some of your cells replace faster than others.
Which cells Jonas?
What part of me did not know Luke?

I fast forward to the heart and I am relieved to see that though the jury is out on hearts, but most of my heart will have known Luke.
And now I see that the central nervous system which is responsible for receiving, processing and responding to sensory information, emotions and sensations… lasts a lifetime.
I stare at the text in relief.

My current central nervous system actually received, processed, responded and sensed Luke and all the emotions of his presence.
I feel my entire central nervous system light up as I read and weep.

I am unhinged as I realize how insane it is to dread healthy cell regeneration for fear of leaving Luke behind.
But the fear is real.
I will never leave him behind.