A New Pocket of Sadness

Day 1169.

I spoke to Simon.

I told him I don’t know what to do with all Luke’s stuff including a computer that was just 6 months old.

He gently pointed out that the computer was no longer 6 months old.

My jaw dropped. He is right.

Am I stuck? Am I or are Luke’s possessions still frozen in that moment when he died?

I sob in the shower.

I call out loud to Luke - “Don’t you fucking tell me you are not going to die!” as in life, he had.

“You left George alone!”

“Alone with us”

George will have no one to share the burden of his parents. No one to help him decide what is to be done.

No one to share the grandchildren production with.

“You fucking left him , Luke!”

A new pocket of sadness is unleashed. New shaped tears accompany.