Lockdown Isolation

Day 1265.

We are in a lockdown in Los Angeles. Most everywhere is.

We are to social distance.

But what of the grieving? Trapped without the human contact, we so desperately need.

The hugs that we give and receive, that mean so much to us, that console us - are gone.

I am lucky, I have my living son, my husband and a new puppy to console me, but the lump in my broken heart still remains and with everyone home, there’s no opportunity for any solitude to reflect, to sob, to release.

So what becomes of those struggling in sobriety? Where is their support in this time of Covid?

Isolation is tough enough for those without demons. What about those of us that have them.....?

And what about those who’s loved ones die in the midst of this pandemic?

When we were with Luke laid out in the funeral home, we were there for hours. We touched him, caressed him. We decorated his cremation tray with garlands of green. I held his strong beautiful hands and tried to memorize how it felt, for I knew it would be the last time. As I recall it now, the tears fall.

Under Covid restrictions people are robbed of this opportunity and I am sad for them, and if you are one of them…. I am so, so sorry.

They’ll have no big funeral.

They’ll have no big gathering of loved ones to come and bid their farewells.

The long wordless hugs that saw me through those days, will not be theirs.

And after it is all over, there will be no visits from friends bearing food and sitting with them in their raw grief. They will be isolated. Alone in the turbulence that is early grief.

There’s so much tragedy here and isolation will make it so much worse.