Speaking Publicly about lukelove

Day 794.

I’ve traveled to Northern Ireland, invited to speak at a book club about lukelove by a friend from my past. Inspired to reach out again after decades when she heard about Luke’s death (lukelove bringing us together)

I have also met with another grieving woman who lost her nephew to an overdose.

The power and healing of honesty and love overwhelms me. So many hugs are requested.

The journey through airports brought strangers to ask if they could hug me when they heard of my plight and my plans.

It is a thing of beauty, especially in the current political climate of so much hate.

I posted on GRASP that I was doing this, and it brought more requests for meetings. “Just start and the path will be clear,” were the words from my therapist, and it has evolved just so.

So what do I speak to this book club? Am I speaking of grief, of addiction? What is my message?

The master plan is to eradicate stigma, and so here’s my step one. 

My first encounter to speak to those who have not walked in my shoes. I am not preaching to the choir, I am on virgin ground. 

I plan to open, to lay the ground for authentic discussion, by telling them that there’s nothing they can’t say or can’t ask. There’s nothing they can do to upset me, for I am always upset. If the tears are on the front of my eyes or the back of my eyes, it’s no difference to me. So don’t be uncomfortable if I cry, it’s not uncomfortable for me. This is my world now. 

It is my intention to open up an honest conversation, a two-way valve, to share the fear and dread of child loss and addiction. We can only make changes if we all work together, those who have lost, those who have not and those who may still. To find some magical changes that could be effective will take a massive, multi-faceted effort of open hearts and minds. OK - I’ll go first.

Luke’s own concept of lukelove is so far proving effective. I can feel him about me, assuring me, “Mum, you’ve got this.” Still so sure of my abilities, even when I am not. How lucky am I to have that? 

Enthusiastic, brilliant, sweet Luke.